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Question by The Ghost of Scousertommy: Britain is Repossessing the U.S.A.?
To the citizens of the United States of America:

In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President

of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the

revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties

over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which

she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for

America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of

you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following

rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will

be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and

'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without

skipping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the

suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable

levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises

such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of

communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on

your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take

account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You

will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,

lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and

therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.

Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to

sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then

you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything

more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you

wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for

your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we

mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will

start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you

will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of

conversion tables.

Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British

sense of humour.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been

calling gasoline)-roughly /US gallon. Get used to it.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French

fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato

chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in

animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually

beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to

as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be

referred to as Lager.

Australian beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the

greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer.

They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as

good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to

play English characters.

Watching Andie McDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a

Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a

cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of

proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in

time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American

football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds

or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try

Rugby - the Australians and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly

thrash us.

14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to

host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played

outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a

world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn

cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the

sting out of their deliveries.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's

Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all

monies due (backdated to 1776).

17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never

mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in

season.

God save the Queen.

Only He can.

Best answer:

Answer by Cortez is Anti-Jonas
bit long to read, but it would happen if she did take it over, than the U.S.A would only be Kansas

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
[wprebay kw="british+half+sovereign" num="0" ebcat="11116"]
[wprebay kw="british+half+sovereign" num="1" ebcat="11116"]
[wprebay kw="british+half+sovereign" num="2" ebcat="11116"]

Originally posted 2011-09-27 18:33:11. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Other British Sovereign Gold Coins Of Interest:

1. Britain to Repo the USA? What Do You Think?
2. Read This Letter. Can Britain Reposess the United Staes?

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